


Sufficiently Advanced Technology

by tryslora



Category: Eureka, Merlin (TV)
Genre: Accidental Mpreg, Accidental Pregnancy, Childbirth, Dream Sex, Dreams, F/M, Immaculate Concept of a Sort, M/M, Mad Science, Multi, Nanotechnology, Science as Magic, Sufficiently Advanced Technology is Indistinguishable From Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-19
Updated: 2012-11-19
Packaged: 2017-11-19 01:31:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/567528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tryslora/pseuds/tryslora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur is the interim director of General Dynamics in Eureka, forced to live with Merlin in S.A.R.A.H. the smart house. Then one morning he wakes up pregnant. <b><i>Nine months</i></b> pregnant. Obviously, it’s just another day in Eureka. What the hell has happened this time?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sufficiently Advanced Technology

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the merlinmpreg fest on LJ from my own prompt.
> 
> I um. I don’t know where this came from exactly, but my brain decided that Eureka and Merlin would make a lovely fusion. So here it is. Forgive me? Also, I have played fast and loose with both canons, mostly taking inspiration from the character personalities and having fun with the transposition of it all. Take it as you will. :) If you’re not familiar with Eureka, consider it a modern AU with a high-tech bent.
> 
> Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. Likewise, Eureka is owned by the SyFy channel and Universal Cable Productions. No profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

If he’d known what a pain in the ass being the interim head of General Dynamics would be, Arthur Pendragon _might_ have stayed in Camelot, GA.

But in Camelot he was merely the son of a CEO, waiting his turn to take the reins of Pendragon Enterprises. Arthur was raring to go, ready to make changes. He was _intelligent_ and he had _ideas_. He knew how to take PE into the future and build an empire that would rival GD for government funding.

But his father wasn’t ready to let go, and until he was, Camelot was a boring little town. So when the offer came through to move to Eureka and take a position at GD (just for six months, or perhaps a year, while the current head was on a research sabbatical), Arthur leapt at the chance. Now he could observe firsthand what life in Eureka was like. He could see how GD scored all those research grants, beating out the best grant-writers PE had put to the task.

And who knew, maybe he’d decide to stay when all was said and done. Why couldn’t GD and PE become one and the same down the road? Arthur could expand _and_ improve.

Oh yes, life was looking up when he received that offer. He packed his bags and was on a plane within twelve hours, determined not to look back.

#

The house was not what Arthur expected.

“S.A.R.A.H.,” Deputy Emrys repeated. “She’s a SmartHouse.”

“Hello, Merlin.” The smooth voice was husky and feminine with just a hint of machine behind it. “Is this Arthur Pendragon?”

“I am.” Arthur looked up at the ceiling, then at the walls, seeking out some kind of speakers or cameras, anything he could look at. It didn’t seem right to be speaking to someone without looking her in the eye. Finding nothing, he returned his gaze to Emrys. Merlin. He hadn’t quite determined which was the given name and which was the surname, although the younger man had greeted him with a cheerful _call me Merlin_ which had been followed almost immediately by _aren’t you a bit young to be the head of GD_?

They hadn’t gotten off on the right foot at all.

But the deputy was pleasant enough, and had arranged for all of Arthur’s things to be brought in. And even though the house was odd (a talking house… Arthur felt like he was being watched, which set his skin to crawling) he could certainly live here for a few months.

He finished his inspection and turned back to find Emrys—Merlin— _whatever his name was_ —watching him. Arthur crossed his arms. “Is there something else?”

“Well…” The deputy hesitated. “Let me show you your room. I’ll be right next door, and you can just knock if you need anything.”

Arthur blinked twice. “You live here too?” His voice was flat. He hadn’t signed on for a roommate. He hadn’t _expected_ a roommate. In fact, Arthur had rather liked the idea of living alone, for once, rather than in a wing of his father’s palatial estate. “Move out,” he ordered.

“Well…” The deputy made an apologetic face.

“Whatever your reason for being here is, Deputy Emrys, I’m sure it can be dealt with otherwise.” Arthur gave the deputy a look. “This house was set aside for the interim director—”

“Not exactly. And call me Merlin.”

“I’ve made certain that Mr. Pendragon’s room is ready, Merlin.” S.A.R.A.H.’s voice was cheerful and smooth. “Arthur, do you think you might find a nap helpful? Perhaps you are cranky after your trip.”

“I’m not cranky.”

“I don’t have anywhere else to go,” Merlin said quickly. “This is my house. You’re going to be living in _my house_ so you’ll just need to get used to it. And,” he shrugged, hands up, “I’ve been tasked with ensuring that all your creature comforts are met.”

“Don’t you have another job?” Arthur rather thought that _deputy_ probably carried some level of responsibility, particularly with a sheriff as elderly as the one he’d met earlier that day. “Not that I’d mind having a butler. I’ve always wanted one, but my father refused. Have you ever buttled before?”

“I don’t think buttle is a word—no, Sir,” Merlin shifted from irritable muttering to a bright, cheerful response at Arthur’s glare. “But that’s what I’ve been told to do: see to your every need.”

“Every need?” Arthur paused, thoughtful. He could think of a few things he’d like to take care of, although in a small town everyone always ended up knowing everyone’s business. “Let’s start out by getting changed and going out. Drinks, meeting women. Preferably at the same time.”

He tugged off his shirt, pausing when he realized Merlin was staring at him. “What?”

“Wouldn’t you rather change in your room?”

Arthur tossed the shirt onto the sofa. “I have a butler to pick up after me. It doesn’t matter where I change.”

“Just don’t piss in the plants.”

Arthur turned towards Merlin, who already had the shirt in hand and looked to be heading off somewhere with it. “What was that?”

Merlin’s eyes went wide and innocent. “Nothing. Didn’t say a thing.”

“Of course you didn’t.” But Arthur had heard him. As if he’d do something so barbaric. That was frat boy behaviour, and something he’d left behind when he’d graduated from CalTech two years ago with his PhD in Physics and a Masters of Science in Biology. He hadn’t bothered getting the graduate degree in Computer Science, dismissing it as pedestrian. And as regarded the plants, he did remember one incident, at one particularly memorable graduation party, but not since then. He was an adult!

He undid the fly to his trousers and stepped out of them as he moved down the hallway, following the path S.A.R.A.H. lit to his room. He kicked them to the side; Merlin would get them later. Oh, Arthur was going to _enjoy_ having a butler. Being the head of GD certainly had its perks, and he could get used to a roommate if he were there to serve his every whim.

#

“Her name is Gwen.” Arthur’s eyes followed the comely girl as she passed by the table in Cafe Diem. “And she works for me?”

“She works for GD, which means propositioning her would be completely inappropriate,” Merlin pointed out. At a gesture, he grabbed Arthur’s empty glass and refilled it from the pitcher they’d had brought to the table. “You can offer her a drink, but I’ll be here to make sure you don’t do anything untoward.”

Untoward. As if Arthur Pendragon would ever act in a way that was inappropriate to a lady.

No. Wait. There was that once, but it was a _complete_ misunderstanding, and he’d been unexpectedly testing out a new solution which had psychotropic tendencies. Everything was entirely unplanned, and all had survived unscathed, although the next morning had certainly been… awkward.

“Invite her over.” Arthur leaned back in his chair, tilting it slightly as he watched Merlin approach Gwen. They knew each other well, he suspected, and that made him wonder for a moment if there was more between them than the deputy had mentioned.

She touched Merlin on the shoulder and he leaned into her as they spoke, heads together. When Gwen glanced back at Arthur, he raised his glass and motioned to the chair, but she returned to her whispering with Merlin.

Arthur also wondered if Merlin were warning her away. That would not be serving his every need.

But after a moment, Gwen came over and settled into the empty chair, while Merlin brought over a chair from another nearby table. “So you’re the new boss?” she asked, taking the drink Arthur offered.

“Not tonight,” he said. “Tonight I’m Arthur and that’s it. I officially start tomorrow.” He took a long gulp of his beer and looked at the glass again. “Impressive,” he said. Color, scent, taste. It was the perfect brew.

“Thank you.” A dark-haired woman set a fresh pitcher on the table and glanced at the three of them. “Are you actually drinking, Merlin? The last time—”

“We don’t need to talk about that, Morgana,” Merlin said hastily, a flush rising to his cheeks. “And yes, I’m drinking. Responsibly.”

Morgana chuckled, settling one hand on Merlin’s shoulder and squeezing. “Just don’t piss in the plants,” she murmured, the chuckle bursting into a delighted laugh when Merlin squirmed.

“She knows it wasn’t you.” Gwen patted his hand as Morgana walked away. 

“Your warning last night makes much more sense now,” Arthur mused. Although no, it didn’t, not entirely. Arthur supposed it must have been someone else that Merlin was with who did it, considering Gwen’s reaction.

“It wasn’t as bizarre, or gross, as it sounds,” Merlin said quickly. He picked up his glass and gulped it down, leaving Arthur to wonder who would be taking care of whose needs here, if Merlin were drunk enough to need to be helped home. “There was an accident with a—you know what, never mind.” His cheeks were two bright points of color. “You’ll figure out what it’s like here in Eureka soon enough, without us needing to tell you tales.”

“Although it sounds like those stories would be entertaining.”

“Very,” Gwen assured him. “But we know them already, so we want to hear about you. What brings you to Eureka? Why aren’t you taking the helm at PE?”

“It’s not time yet.” Because no one else needed to know that Uther Pendragon refused to let his son take the reins. Arthur was ready. He was more than ready. He put on his most charming smile. “Besides, if I’d taken the helm at PE, I wouldn’t be here at GD, would I? Which means I’d have missed out on meeting you.”

She wasn’t immune to his flattery, Arthur noted, as a blush rose to Gwen’s cheeks. “I’m no one special,” she said. “Simply a microtechnologist.”

“And your project is?” Arthur prompted. A scientist who didn’t want to talk about their work was rare. A hyper-intelligent scientist of the sort they had here in Eureka was even more likely to ramble on, he figured.

“Healing using the application of specified nanite technology,” Gwen said. “We give the nanites very specific programming—for example, build a kidney—then inject them into the bloodstream. They deposit themselves in the correct location, sample the DNA of the host body, and commence building.”

“Does it work?” Arthur had to admit he was impressed; he couldn’t name a project at PE that came close.

“Not yet, not exactly,” Gwen admitted. “We’ve been testing in rats and other small mammals, and the nanites replicate and rebuild perfectly. The trick appears to be in the programming, so we’ve ended up with five legged rats when it was supposed to rebuild a severed leg, or in one particularly memorable case, a centipede rat when we couldn’t get the nanites to stop building. And you should ask Merlin about Fluffy.”

“Fluffy?”

“Oh, you’ll meet her soon enough,” Merlin said. “She likes to sleep in the guest room.” His eyes widened slightly. “Hope you’re not allergic to cats. Or dogs.”

Arthur’s gaze narrowed. “Why?”

“Gwen’s programming wasn’t quite right, and instead of sampling host DNA, in Fluffy’s case the nanites retained the imprint from a prior subject. Fluffy’s a cat with the heart of a dog,” Merlin said blandly. “You’ll see what we mean when she starts barking.”

Arthur was silent, and Merlin nudged the pitcher towards him. “Take another drink. You’ll be needing it eventually. Trust me, after a few days here, everything will make complete sense, no matter how nonsensical it seems. It’s just the way Eureka is.”

Arthur wasn’t about to argue another drink, especially not with beer as good as this was. And when the pitcher finished, he waved for another, then another.

By the time several drinks had passed, Merlin was relaxed and laughing, his arm across the back of Gwen’s chair. And Gwen was leaning towards Arthur, her hand on his arm and her foot touching his under the table. Arthur wondered again whether Merlin and Gwen were together, then promptly wondered whether that even mattered.

“We ought to be getting back,” Merlin pointed out. “You’ve got your first day tomorrow, after all.”

Arthur lifted up his glass, looking at the last dregs of the beer in it. _Good_ beer. “Can we have some of this delivered?”

“Merlin has some of it at home already,” Gwen offered. “For when he has guests.”

“Because if he drinks, he’ll piss in the plants?”

“That wasn’t _me_!” Merlin protested, amid laughs from both Gwen and Arthur.

“It truly wasn’t,” Gwen assured Arthur, leaning a little closer to do so. And if Arthur’s gaze dropped to her neckline, it was only a natural path for his sight, right?

“You’re right,” he decided. “We ought to go. Are you coming with us, Gwen?”

She and Merlin both went silent, exchanging a look. Arthur added a small mental checkmark next to the word _together_ in his mind and nodded. “If you want to have drunken sex in the room down the hall from me, I don’t mind,” he offered magnanimously.

Gwen’s flush infused her dark skin with rose. “You might say you’re not my boss tonight, but tomorrow I don’t think I ought to be having breakfast in my robe with the new head of GD.”

Arthur liked the idea of Gwen in her robe, possibly with little peeks beneath it, and from the expression on Merlin’s face, he suspected Merlin was thinking the same thing. So Arthur shook his head, waving her protest away with one hand. “It’s Merlin’s house, and I’m the interloper.”

“You get nicer when you’re drunk,” Merlin pointed out.

“And you get more honest.”

“No,” Gwen told him. “He’s always that blunt. But—” she hesitated, then smiled as she slipped her hand into Merlin’s. “You might as well know that I spend a good deal of time at Merlin’s. So if you’re sure you don’t mind…”

“Why would I mind?” Arthur rose, and waited for Gwen and Merlin to do so as well. When Gwen slipped her free hand into the one Arthur held out, he kept his smirk to himself. Gwen might be Merlin’s now, but he had a feeling there was something between himself and Gwen as well. And he didn’t think it would take all that long to get his chance at exploring it.

#

Arthur hadn’t quite realized how thin S.A.R.A.H.’s walls were, and by the time the sounds of sex faded from Merlin’s room just next door to his, Arthur was quite awake. He rolled over, punching his pillow, and forced himself to doze until the alarm woke him first thing in the morning for his first day at GD.

Even glimpses of Gwen’s warm skin weren’t enough to wake him, or push him from his cranky mood. By the time he arrived back at the house after the day, he was antsy and frustrated. He started to prepare dinner, taking his frustrations out on the vegetables that he chopped, not caring that he left piles of dirty dishes in his wake, or that a towel from his shower still lay across the back of a chair. Or that a path of clothes led down the hall to the shower, where he had discarded them on the way, needing the hot stream of water to help soothe his mind.

“How was your—” Merlin came to a halt just inside the door. “Are you just naturally this messy all the time, or is this a special first-day-of-work aberration?” 

Arthur didn’t look up. “You’re to ensure that my creature comforts are met, yes?” A quick glance caught that Merlin was nodding, his expression neutral, so Arthur smiled politely. “Then meet them. Buttle. Clean up. The house won’t clean itself.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Pendragon, but I’m not equipped with robotic cleaners,” S.A.R.A.H. apologized. “I have requested that Gwen might consider the upgrade, but Merlin hasn’t wanted them thus far.”

“I’m reconsidering,” Merlin muttered. “Electronic butlers. What could go wrong with that, S.A.R.A.H.?”

“If you’d like a list, Merlin, I can provide one. For example, robotic pinchers are not as gentle as human fingers, and you might find that Gwen’s lingerie develops holes during the laundry,” S.A.R.A.H. said cheerfully. “I do not believe that her robots have developed the delicate touch required for ceramic dishes, although they are quite adept at scrubbing pots. Not to mention that if you happened to require one to scrub your back—”

“That’s enough,” Merlin waved one hand. “No robots.”

Arthur continued to chop, despite having more than enough vegetables for the dinner he’d planned. The feel of the knife against the cutting board was satisfying, and he liked the sound of it as well. Carrot sticks. Everyone needed carrot sticks.

“Is there a reason you’re in such a strop?” Merlin reached past Arthur to claim two wine glasses from the counter. The bottle of red came from a cabinet, and Merlin poured it in equal amounts into each glass, leaving one by Arthur’s elbows. “I can’t imagine that your day was entirely awful. It’s a bit creative here, but I wasn’t summoned to GD even once today, so I assume nothing exploded, imploded, or multiplied.”

“Or disappeared,” S.A.R.A.H. offered. “There was that time when the entirety of Section Eight turned invisible, just last month.”

“Or disappeared,” Merlin agreed. “It seemed to be a fairly unusual day for Eureka, with everything well under control.” He frowned. “Which probably ought to worry me.”

“I didn’t sleep.” Arthur laid the knife on the board and looked over. “For someone who is supposed to be ensuring that all my comforts are met, Merlin, you aren’t doing a terribly good job.”

“What was I supposed to do?” Merlin asked, bewildered. “You said good night and went off to your room. I had no idea you weren’t sleeping.”

“You could have told me your room was next to mine,” Arthur said dryly. “Or perhaps suggested someone I might meet as well, so that I could be exhausted until I snored incessantly, a noise which I can hear through the walls I might add, along with ragged breathing, moans, groans, and Gwen’s quite attractive little squeaks.”

“I…”

Arthur rolled his eyes and smirked as Merlin’s voice failed him, and a flush rose to stain his cheeks. “You didn’t think of that, did you?”

“I didn’t,” Merlin admitted.

“And I’m quite sure you didn’t think that I’d be lying there, my mind filled with some rather startling visuals to go along with the soundtrack playing next door,” Arthur said. “You do realize that you could have mentioned that you were involved with Gwen when I asked to meet her.”

Merlin seemed to find a spot on the counter fascinating as he buffed it with the edge of his shirtsleeve. “I could have,” he said slowly. “But the two of you seemed to get on well enough. But yes. We’ve been involved for a while now. She…” his voice trailed off again.

Both eyebrows went up. “She what?” Arthur asked.

“She accepts me,” Merlin said with a small shrug. “There aren’t many who would.”

“Why not?” Arthur gave Merlin a once-over. “You’re a bit gangly, yes. Too skinny. You walk like you can’t figure out where all your arms and legs are going, and perhaps like you might think you’ve got extra limbs. You _could_ work out, you know. And your face is a bit long, and that hair—”

“If you’re trying to make me feel better, it’s not working,” Merlin interjected with a small glare. “And that’s not it. She finds me attractive, yes, but we don’t need to go into any more detail than that. And no, I’m not going to go find you some sort of a one night stand just so you can get your rocks off in the room next to me.” His ears were bright pink. “S.A.R.A.H.’s actually got an impressive collection of pornography you can indulge in, if you need it, and you can meet women on your own. For _relationships_ ,” Merlin stressed the word. “Not mindless sex. This is Eureka. We have scientists, not whores.”

Arthur could think of a few significant examples where the two weren’t mutually exclusive. Those girls at M.I.T. who paid for their tuition from the money they earned as high end call girls, for one. Or the man who tried to convince Arthur that a blow job would sweeten the deal after Arthur rejected his project at PE. Still, he waved it away with one hand, and paused for a drink of wine.

“So tell me then, _why_ is it that Gwen’s the perfect woman for you, when she was hanging on me last night?” Because until he was absolutely certain that Gwen was going to bed with Merlin, Arthur had half wondered whether she was flirting with him.

“Kids,” Merlin blurted, following the word up with a gulp of wine. “We both want kids.”

That wasn’t the answer Arthur was expecting. “So do I. Eventually. You two sound like you’re well on the path to it.” Several times.

Merlin’s flush intensified, the curve of his ear a deep red. “Something like that,” he muttered. “What about you? Why aren’t you looking for the one and only if you want kids?”

Arthur shrugged. “I’ll have them one day. Until then, there are plenty of women—and men—out there to be sampled.” He grinned at the noise Merlin made. “Have I made your job easier? Find me a man if you can’t find me a woman.” He set the glass of wine down. “I’ll be in my room. Just send whoever it is back when they get here.”

“I’m not ordering in a man for you like takeout!” Merlin called as Arthur walked down the hallway.

“If we’re ordering off a menu, I do generally like Italian,” Arthur mused, loud enough to carry back to Merlin. “But honestly, I’m not picky. Nice to look at, good in bed—just find me something, Merlin. See to my needs!”

“Sod your needs,” Merlin muttered, and Arthur smirked when he heard it. He might be spending another night alone, but at least he’d gotten under Merlin’s skin.

#

Arthur discovered that S.A.R.A.H. did, indeed, have an impressive collection of pornography, and Arthur spent a good while perusing it that evening before finally falling into a fitful, but physically satisfied, sleep.

The dreams, when they came, were odd and vivid, centered around Merlin and Gwen and Arthur in a variety of creative and entertaining positions. Arthur woke once in the night, sweating and gasping from the all too bright memory of pressing into Merlin while Gwen fucked Arthur with some kind of high end technological strap-on. He was hard as a rock, and it took two quick strokes along his length before he came hard and fell back into the dreams amidst sticky sheets.

When he woke, the pressure in his bladder was bad enough that he stumbled from the bed without even opening his eyes. His body felt ungainly, pitching forward too much from a small amount of force, making him grab onto the edge of the nightstand to catch his balance. His back ached. His feet ached. He groaned, pressing one hand to the small of his back, eyes finally opening.

Where were his toes?

And what the hell was that in the way?

Arthur’s hands settled on his stomach. A stomach that was rounded thickly, curved outwards in a way that left him severely off-balance. As he pressed in against the surprisingly hard surface, something pressed _back_.

His eyes widened. “Merlin!” He waddled to the door, yanking it open before he yelled again. “ _Merlin!_ ”

“It’s half past six and what is so important _holy shit!!_ ” Merlin stopped in the hall and stared. “Arthur, you’re pregnant.”

“Oh, is that what it is? I just thought perhaps I’d bloated overnight.” Arthur glared at him. One hand idly pressed in against his side where _something_ was pushing up under his ribs. “How has this happened?”

Merlin rubbed at the back of his neck, and Arthur looked him over, realizing that Merlin was standing there wearing only a pair of low slung sleep pants that seemed to be barely clinging to the bones of his hips. The corners of Merlin’s mouth tilted up slowly. “You said last night you wanted children. Apparently that particular _every_ _need_ is being served.”

“This isn’t what I meant by _needs_ ,” Arthur snapped. “I meant—”

“You meant sex, yes, we’re all aware.” Merlin waved one hand. “S.A.R.A.H. did you notice anything odd in the scanners last night? Anyone in Arthur’s room?”

“No, Merlin,” S.A.R.A.H. replied cheerfully. “Arthur spent several hours watching pornography on his own before he slept. And I believe he woke up in the middle of the night in order to—”

“Enough!” Arthur cut S.A.R.A.H. off. He didn’t need the house explaining to Merlin about his masturbation habits. For that matter, he didn’t need the house paying attention to those habits, which meant either a long conversation later (with a _house_ ) or a reprogramming session. Perhaps he should have bothered with the graduate degree in programming after all. “There was no one in my room with me last night other than an intrusive smart house.” Arthur glared at the walls.

“I’m sorry, Arthur.”

Somehow she managed to sound contrite, and Arthur sighed, wincing as something twinged in his belly. “Fine, you’re sorry, stay out of my room when I don’t want you there after this,” he grumbled. “Right now, I have a larger problem.”

“I’d say about nine months large,” Merlin mused. “Not to mention possibly dropped into the birth canal. If you have a birth canal, that is.”

“What?” Arthur stared at him. The words, taken one at a time, made a sort of sense, but strung together like that, with respect to himself, he couldn’t understand the meaning.

Merlin smiled slightly. “Get dressed in something more than sleep pants shoved under your belly, Arthur. We need to go see the doctors at GD immediately. You’re not only looking pregnant. You look just about ready to give birth.”

#

“I’d say that you’re right about 38 to 40 weeks pregnant.” Morgana held the wand against Arthur’s belly, the gel cold and the pressure just short of uncomfortable. Something rolled in his gut, and on the screen in front of them there was movement as well, something that looked vaguely like a hand pushing out.

“Aren’t you the bartender?” Arthur asked. “I thought you served beer.”

“I _brew_ beer,” Morgana corrected him, nudging him back onto the examination when he tried to sit up. “I’m a doctor. Not specialized in obstetrics, but I did my rotation and I’ve delivered roughly a dozen babies since coming to Eureka, so you don’t need to worry about my qualifications. Of course,” she looked him up and down, “I’ve never delivered a _man’s_ baby before. I don’t think there’s a doctor in the world actually qualified for that.”

Arthur couldn’t argue that point. He caught the paper dressing gown she tossed at him. “What’s this for? Aren’t we done here?”

Morgana just gave him a look. “Your daughter is head down, heading into something that looks vaguely like a birth canal from this angle. I think we might want to verify that canal connects to something on the outside, Mr. Pendragon, before that child decides it’s time to be born. Because that,” she tapped the screen, “is a contraction.”

He barely felt it. A tightening across his lower back, almost like a cramp. Definitely uncomfortable, but nothing like he’d heard it was supposed to hurt. “Is that all?”

She laughed, touching his shoulder. “That’s just the start of it. I can assure you, it gets far, far worse before you’ll be done. Now, if you’ll change, we’ll get the exam—”

“That’s my cue to leave.” Merlin unfolded himself from where he leaned against the wall. “This isn’t something I want to see.”

“Don’t go far, I might need—” Arthur was interrupted by the singing of Merlin’s cell phone.

“Yes?” Merlin turned away slightly, his voice lowering. “I’m already at GD, Gwen. I’ll be there as soon as the elevator—what? Oh. Right, you’ve got a point. I’ll take the stairs.” Tucking the phone back into his pocket, he offered and apologetic smile. “Can’t buttle right now, it’s business. Small escaped nanite problem, and Gwen wants them back before they decide to reconstruct GD.” He paused a moment, then added, “You can consider that an official report to the head of GD, until we get a chance to write it up.”

Morgana laughed softly. “Just another typical day in Eureka.”

“I knew yesterday was too quiet,” Merlin agreed, and he ducked out.

Morgana assured Arthur that she’d be right back, then followed Merlin out the door, leaving Arthur with a sticky belly, a sensation of something crawling in his gut, and a paper gown that he was expected to wear. For an examination.

Arthur could only imagine what the examination was going to involve, and what it might find. And that it might explain some of the _pressure_ he was feeling. He groaned and scrubbed at his hair, glaring at the door. This was supposed to be an _easy_ job. A _simple_ job. And it was suddenly turning out to be anything but easy.

#

Morgana didn’t let Arthur leave the hospital area after the examination. She pronounced him already three centimeters dilated after exclaiming over the marvel that was a freshly constructed birth canal that didn’t occur in nature for males. Several incredibly embarrassing pictures (to document the miracle) later, she finally stepped out to leave Arthur on his own, listening to the swift whoosh-whoosh of his daughter heartbeat.

His daughter. His incredibly impossible daughter. This didn’t make sense at all. He couldn’t even imagine that the baby could be real, yet Morgana had measured it, tested it, checked for abnormalities and pronounced the infant completely healthy and ready to escape the womb.

A womb Arthur shouldn’t even have.

He reached for his phone, sending his twentieth text in the last several minutes.

_I need water. Can’t leave bed. Monitors_.

After another several minutes passed (and three more texts sent without response), Arthur tried to leverage himself out of bed. The belt wrapped around his large stomach dislodged, and an alarm shrieked, bringing Morgana with admonitions and chastisements, pushing him back to lie down and _relax_. As if he could relax. Every moment made his skin itch more, and the vague cramps were turning into pain. Sharp pains. Every five or ten minutes another one would crease across his belly, his hands clenching around the sheets he had twisted between his fingertips.

Of course, Merlin walked back in just as Arthur was groaning, grimacing from the pain. Panting slightly as the pain faded, Arthur fixed a glare on his _butler_. “Where have you been?”

“Just capturing nanites.” Merlin waved a hand vaguely. “We’ve got monkeys with wings, a brand new ventilation duct in a space that’s very specifically supposed to remain unventilated, and three people admitted to the hospital complaining about foot pain which we hope isn’t related because we don’t need people running around with extra toes. Or extra feet. Gwen’s fairly certain she’s collected most of the nanites back, at least.”

“How did they escape?” Arthur gritted his teeth as another pain rolled through and left him gasping. “Is this place like this all the time?”

“More often than not,” Merlin said easily. “And she thinks they might have hitched a ride in her purse when she left last night, and jumped out when they felt like it.”

Arthur blinked. “When they felt like it.” His tone fell flat.

“They’re somewhat intelligent,” Merlin explained. “They have to be, in order to learn the structure they need to replicate.”

Another contraction ripped through Arthur. He felt something in his hand and realized as the pain faded that Merlin had his hand gripped tightly.

“Don’t worry, you can’t break my hand,” Merlin said, squeezing lightly. “Armored skin. Gwen let me borrow it before I came back. Thought some human contact might serve your needs well, but she didn’t want me broken.” He flushed, the edges of his ears going a darker red than the skin across his cheeks. “So hold on as tight as you like. We’ll get you through this. Is Morgana going to operate soon?”

Arthur shook his head. “Natural birth, she claims,” he muttered. “I apparently grew a birth canal.”

“Impressive.” Merlin’s gaze dropped to Arthur’s lap, covered by a thin sheet, and his cheeks pinked further. “Not that I’m imagining what that looks like.”

Arthur tried to glare at him, but the pain made it impossible. And Gwen had been right; it felt _good_ to cling tightly to Merlin’s hand with no fear of breaking it. Whatever the armored skin might be, it didn’t feel technological. No, he was well aware of every bit of Merlin’s skin, the texture, the long fingers, the way they curled into his. And the way they squeezed back, giving him something strong to grip as the pain shivered through him. “I take back everything I have ever thought. Women have a higher pain threshold,” Arthur muttered. “I’m never doing this again. I’m never asking a woman to do it. Women are _insane_.”

“I thought you wanted kids,” Merlin reached out with his free hand, rubbing Arthur’s back in small circles, just between his shoulder blades.

“I’m having one right now. That’ll be enough.” Arthur glanced at Merlin, then pressed his fingers against his own closed eyes. “I just said that. I just actually believed I’m having an actual baby.”

“You are.” Gwen stepped through the door, her expression gentle. “You are having an actual baby. Ours, I believe.”

The hand at his back stopped and Merlin pulled away. “Gwen…”

“It’s the nanites.” She settled onto the bed on the other side. “They must have gotten away from me the night I was at your place, and I suspect they have something of me in them, or else that’s a clone of you which is impossible, since Morgana told me you’re having a girl. You had to get the second X chromosome from somewhere, and I’m the best option since the nanites were with me. Unless you and Merlin…”

She let the words trail off and gave them both a look and somehow Arthur had the feeling she wouldn’t be surprised if he and Arthur _had_ done something. Merlin was a bright red as he shook his head. “No. No, Gwen, we haven’t. And thank you for mentioning that out loud.”

Gwen made a soft _pssh_ noise of dismissal. “It’s not like I’m giving him details no one else knows, Merlin. Everyone knows you’re gay.”

The flush deepened when Morgana added her voice, “We do, Merlin, and yes, we love you anyway, and really, isn’t this a bit beside the point? Although if Arthur proves to be fertile on a regular basis, I do recommend using protection when you have sex. I wouldn’t want to know what a YY chromosome child looks like.”

“Arthur and I are not having sex!” Merlin protested. “This is like the plants, Morgana, I didn’t do it.”

Arthur looked from Gwen to Morgana to Merlin before he covered his face with one palm and shook his head. “I haven’t had sex with a single person since I got here. Not for lack of trying,” he said dryly. His right hand didn’t count, nor did pornography supplied by a sentient house. “Gwen believes it’s her nanites.”

“And that would make sense.” Morgana looked at the paper rolls coming off the monitor Arthur was hooked up to, then gave him a sharp look. “How are you not screaming?”

“He’s squeezing my hand.” Merlin raised his hand, bringing Arthur’s with it, clinging tightly to his fingers. “Skin armor. Thanks to Gwen.”

Without so much as a by your leave, Morgana rotated the table so that Arthur’s feet were pointed away from everyone else and slid beneath the sheet. “Just as I thought.” Her voice was muffled. “You’re fully dilated and ready to go, Arthur. Those contractions mean you need to start pushing.”

“I’m sorry,” Gwen murmured.

There was a brief break between the contractions, and Arthur offered a charming smile. “Forgiven. On one condition. I don’t have to listen to the two of you through the wall again.”

“We’re a package deal,” Gwen said firmly. “And you probably ought to get used to the idea that I’m the top.”

“Gwen!” Merlin groaned as Arthur clung to his hand tightly. “Okay, the armor has limits. I can feel that. Done. Deal is done. Start pushing, because we need to get this over with.”

Arthur felt as if there were a bowling ball trying to escape his body. A large one, with pinchers squeezing his gut and his back. He doubled-over, trying to _push_ as he’d been instructed. And on the one side, Merlin sat with him, hand at his back, rubbing firmly and just being _solid,_ and on the other side Gwen’s smaller hand slipped into his and she murmured soft encouragement as he worried he’d break her fingers squeezing so tightly.

Everything blurred after that until he heard the shrill thin cry of a child, and a moment later a small messy bundle was placed in his arms.

Her eyes were bluish grey, and wide, framed with light lashes against her soft coffee-colored skin. There was a reddish tint to everything, and she stared at him, meeting his gaze trustingly before her nose scrunched up and she screamed. Arthur felt as if his heart were breaking at the sound.

“She’s perfect,” Morgana declared. “Gwen, I’d like to talk to you about the possibility of using your nanites in some fertility cases I’ve been working on.”

Gwen nodded as she pressed close to Arthur, inspecting the baby.

“I’ll just leave the three of you here. Arthur, I’ll be back to check on you later. I want to make sure the nanites clean up after themselves before they exit your system.”

Clean up? Oh. Arthur didn’t think he needed a permanent birth canal, nor permanent fertility. Once was enough. One surprise pregnancy with a surprise daughter, all within hours of waking up… once was definitely enough.

“Is Eureka like this all the time?” he asked, watching as the infant suckled at the bottle he pressed to her lips.

“Something like this,” Merlin said quietly.

“It’s definitely never dull,” Gwen agreed.

“Less babies usually, more world ending,” Merlin added. “A lot of world ending.”

Arthur considered the options, then decided with a smile, “I can handle that. I suspect keeping the world from ending might be easier than giving birth unexpectedly.”

He felt Gwen press into him on the one side, her finger lightly tracing the curve of their daughter’s cheek. And on his other side, Merlin leaned in to see, one hand still lightly rubbing the aches from the base of Arthur’s back.

It was strangely comfortable, sitting like that.

His needs had been met after all, Arthur realized. Met in a spectacular and unexpected way, but met they were, by Merlin and Gwen. A slow smile started. “I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings.”


End file.
